acting my age

I love being 48. Not ashamed to own my age. Prepared to flaunt it. Better than the alternative. So what inspires this mutual love affair with my age? Purple hair.

Do you really want an explanation, or, as one of my favorite Harry Potter lines goes, "After all this time, (have you) just learned to go with it?" So, last night was the first dress rehearsal of The Wiz, our community theater production. Last night, I came home with purple hair and purple glittery fingernails. And today, before my haircut appointment, I had to go shopping and commit several other public offenses.

Five years ago, I would never have ventured out of my house with purple hair. I would have been mortified at the thought. What would people think? Say? What children might I frighten? Today, I was completely amused. Now, I imagine what people might say, and it's fun to let my imagination go. It's not got far to go. I know what I might have said about a 48-year-old woman with purple hair wearing decidedly not mom-jeans not long ago.

Now, it is so darn much fun not to care. And that's why I love being 48.

What do you love about your age?

oh so pleasant

OK, so it doesn't look like anyone else's house. But then, the inhabitants aren't quite like anyone else.

Really, my husband has made amazing progress. Used to be, when we had to spray paint a garage sale find, or a 4H project, or a costume piece in the driveway, he'd get all distressed because we didn't cover the asphalt. I always said it added character to the house to have all those paint outlines. Plus, people got to guess what we'd painted by the shape of the outline. And since the driveway has more cracks in it than all of the Golden Girls put together, it's not exactly a cosmetic blemish.

So, surprised we were when middle child got the brainstorm to paint the outside of the house and he agreed to let her do it. Now, you understand, I do not mean paint as in paint the nice lemon yellow with blue trim I have in mind one day when we can afford it. I mean as in, abstract art all over the side of the house. Yes, it's tempera, so it will eventually was off, but still. Quite a serious character departure for my husband.

You probably won't be surprised that it was not so for me. Still, I was surprised to discover how much I really love the finished product. (Though I doubt it will ever be 'finished.') Life is just too short to worry about what the neighbors will think about the front of the house. I'd rather think about what we're learning about creativity and flexibility and thinking outside the box when faced with a situation that we'd like to change (in this case, the awful color of the house).

To quote my favorite actor of all time:

"Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, "In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me."

My paraphrase would be:

"In this world, you can be oh so controlling or oh so flexible. Well, for years I was controlling. I recommend flexible. You may quote me."

Not only that, but I have a really cool house now!

bronco driving friends

In light of recent events at our high school, I've been thinking a lot lately about friends. Facebook friends, lunch friends, cry on your shoulder friends, or, as one comedienne recently put it, Bronco driving friends. And the book I'm reading right now (Gen Buy: How Tweens, Teens, and Twenty-Somethings are Revolutionizing Retail) is verifying what I've suspected. We can be "connected" to hundreds of people and feel completely alone.

According to the authors, "Only half of Americans today say that they have a friend, besides their spouse, to confide in and rely on for support. That's a big drop from 1985, when nearly three-quarters of Americans felt they had such a friend. One-quarter of Americans say they don't have anybody to confide in. . . . hundreds of Facebook friends and dozens of daily email exchanges don't cut it when it comes to feeling the safety and support of close friends and confidents."

The "recent event" is the tragic suicide of a young man who, reportedly, had over 1,000 Facebook friends. Some of them had to be good friends. But how many were friends "to confide in and rely on for support"? We can't know. What we do know, increasingly, is that texting and IMing aren't providing teens with the relationships they need. But I know, from watching the specimens in my own house, that that is pretty much all the species does to communicate.

What's the answer? Any suggestions? I I've got a lot of teenagers on my Facebook list. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

not a good sign

The other day, I drove past a local junior high. I know, not an attention grabbing opener, there. But the sign outside the school got my attention. The motto on it? "Educating students to be exceptional producers." Am I the only one who sees something wrong there?

Those of you who are parents, when is the last time you stood looking at your sleeping darling and thought, I sure hope she grows up to be an exceptional producer? OK, those of you with 26-year-old sons living in your basement playing Mortal Kombat 24/7 may be thinking that. But it's not usually the first dream we have for our kids. And in fact, it really disturbs me that a school believes it should be.

Producers of what? Why? And if this is the most important goal, how far are we willing to teach them to go to reach it? How do they know when they are producing enough? Who are they and of what value are they if they aren't keeping up?

These aren't idle questions. They're questions I've seen teens wrangle with over and over. Their self worth and motivation are in the toilet because they never feel like they can keep up with the superstar producers. The truly upsetting thing is, the memo that they're worth less if they don't is clearly coming from the adults in their lives--the ones who are supposed to be safe and supportive, letting them know that there are more important things in life than measuring yourself by constant output.

What goal would you like for your child? I think I would prefer to say in the end that my daughters were exceptional human beings. The great thing is, anyone can be that if they choose.

happy feet

Good morning. Today, I am rerunning a part of a blog from last year. Usually, whatever I have to say is just not that important. But today, it is.

Today is One Day Without Shoes Day. April 5th, TOMS Shoe Company is challenging people across the world to go a day, an hour, ten minutes, whatever they can, completely barefoot. Why? A few reasons they offer:

· In some developing nations, children must walk for miles to school, clean water and to seek medical help.

· Cuts and sores on feet can lead to serious infection.

· Often, children cannot attend school barefoot.

· In Ethiopia, approximately one million people are suffering from Podoconiosis, a debilitating and disfiguring disease caused by walking barefoot in volcanic soil.

· Podoconiosis is 100% preventable with basic foot hygiene and wearing shoes.

Those are just a few of the startling and sad facts. Shoes are a luxury. Who would have thought? We certainly don't give it a consideration when we throw on the flip flops or lace up the Skechers.

As one of the company's interns puts it: "Now you're probably thinking, "Why would a SHOE COMPANY encourage folks to go BAREFOOT?" Easy. TOMS is not just a shoe company; TOMS is a movement, an advocate for change. We want to raise awareness for the MILLIONS of children around the world who go every day without the luxury of something as simple as shoes."

In fact, this company donates one pair of shoes to those who need them for every one pair they sell. Not ten percent, not "a portion of our profits," one for one. That, to me, is amazing.

So, today I am going barefoot. It should at least be warmer than it was last year. And after my week without a coat two weeks ago, I'll have a head start, right? Join me?

http://www.onedaywithoutshoes.com/

signing off

This week's World Vision devotion focuses on carelessness. No, not carelessness as in, "My husband dropped our middle child on her head when she was three days old." Although he did, which could explain some things. This is carelessness with another definition, as in "having no one to care for you. Being set aside or ostracized." You can read the story referenced for the week at:http://www.worldvisionacts.org/careless

But the practices they wanted me to try out for the week in order to feel more uncared for presented a bit of a problem.

First option: "Wear a piece of clothing every day that will make you stand out in a crowd - something unflattering that will definitely make people take notice." I figured anyone who knew me well enough would not notice at all. They'd just think I was being normally abnormal. And anyone who doesn't? Well, who really cared?

Second option: "Go without any contact/communication with your closest loved one." I offered this option to my husband. He was not thrilled with the idea. Although my kids offered not to have to hear me talking at them for a full week, he was not happy at the thought. And since it's only supposed to be one closest loved one, I didn't figure I should choose a child and say, "Yep--you're the closest one."

Third option:" Go without any contact/communication with your typical group of friends." Potentially feasible. Even if my children replied that I do not have a typical group of friends. I'm not sure if they were saying I have no friends or just that they are not normal. Since my daughter is fasting form Facebook for Lent, I thought, I could do that for a week. That's cutting contact off pretty well.

I am not one of those people who thinks that Facebook is spelling the doom of social life as we know it. I do not believe it keeps people from face to face conversation, though it can. I have found it a great tool for keeping up with people I would otherwise not hear from on a regular basis. If not for Facebook, I would never have reconnected with high school friends and had a wonderful time at the theater and a hysterical time at dinner in February (you know who you are). I would not see pictures of great nephews who are totally adorable.

But for this week, I haven't and won't see any of those things. In fact, child #3 is going to post this link for me so I am not tempted. It's already hard. I miss you! So I cannot imagine the pain of a little girl who goes through life with no one to connect with her in a meaningful way. Read the story. Then bless God that you cannot relate. And look around you for someone who can.