It's
risk time again. And as often happens while doing this
listening-to-God-life thing, what I thought I'd write about today
isn't what's hitting the page. The original plan will be here next
month, I promise. And it's a BIG BOOTS adventure, so do stay tuned!
(“When
you see someone putting on his Big Boots, you can be pretty sure that
an Adventure is going to happen.” AA Milne)
But
today, I have to face this Lent thing. I do, because it's here, and I
don't feel I can ignore it, which is usually the way I handle Lent.
And yes, facing Lent is a risk. Because what I'm going to say risks
making people mad, which I hate more than waiting in line at the DMV,
which you KNOW is serious not-liking.
Thinking
about anything that 1—messes with peoples' traditions,
2—potentially questions their motives, and 3—asks serious
questions about God and the crucifixion is going to get real scary
real fast.
What
I'm going to say is, I don't get it. I've never done it. Never seen
any reason to.
Maybe
I'm too much of a legalist for Lent observance. If I gave up desserts
for Lent for instance, you know the first thing that would follow.
Hmmm, if I eat this snickerdoodle at 3:00, is it a dessert or an
afternoon snack? If I give up social media—hey, checking my
Facebook while sitting in the car waiting to pick up a kid is totally
a good use of time. Plus it's purely for professional purposes.
You
get the idea. Give me a rule, and I'll find the loophole. Make me
draw lines in my life of what is OK and what is not OK, and I become
a line drawer. I will focus on where those lines are and what the
precise definitions are, and it will become all about those lines.
Those rules. Those loopholes. Where is Jesus in there?
I'm
not seeing it all bringing me closer to Christ during Lent.
What
it could manage is dragging me closer to that all-too-human bent
toward legalism. Checking off the rules on my wall of what I can and
cannot get away with and still be OK with God.
Which
is what God begs his people to get away from several times. It's what
I definitely need to stay away from, since I'm good at finding my
worth--dare I say salvation?--in my achievements and things checked
off on a list. I've clawed my way out of legalism, thank you very
much. Don't intend to be hauled back without a fight.
God
so does not want me to go there. So why would he want me to observe
Lent?
And,
here's the other thing. I see people giving stuff up for Lent, and I
usually note one of a few motivations:
1—I'm
giving up ________ because it's tradition. My church does it. I've
always done it. It would be weird not to do it. To which I think,
it's my Swedish tradition to eat blood sausage and fish balls, but
some traditions are meant to die. Quickly.
2—I
want to lose weight, and giving up chocolate or ice cream or sugar is
a sure-fire way to get rid of ten pounds AND sound really holy doing
so. It's a win-win.
3—When
I give up something, I can talk about it on Facebook, so other people
can see how holy I am. Unless I'm actually giving up Facebook, which
means you'll have to see how holy I am by my absence. Which does
work, in a strange negative-energy sort of way.
And—do
I really need to say this?
These
are not good reasons.
If
I'm giving up, say, chai tea lattes for forty days out of ignorance,
personal gain, or pride, not only am I going to be cranky for forty
days, but I suspect I will be no closer to Jesus than I was on Fat
Tuesday.
The
other reason I've never practiced Lent is that it's not supposed to
be a one-shot deal. I rebel at the idea that I can think about being
like Jesus for only one season. Being like Jesus is supposed to
consume my everyday will. Isn't it flirting with apathy just a little
to say I'll work on this God thing seriously until Easter, and then,
well, we'll see after that?
So
help me out here. Why would I do this?
Sigh.
I have many friends whom I deeply respect giving up some of these
things for Lent. They are not people of apathy or loose motivations.
They have reasons. They love God with all their mind and hands and
heart and will. I want to figure out those reasons.
So
I decided to look into the original purposes of these forty days.
There, maybe, I'd find answers for all my whys. The original purpose,
apparently, was to prepare the believer--through prayer, repentance,
giving, and self-denial. It never says what the believer is being
prepared for. And that bothers me, since it look very much like what
I have problems with. We don't know why, but it's got to be good for
us. Like a religious edict to eat your brussels sprouts.
“Just
do it” is a motto I can get behind when I'm sitting in committee
meetings for a couple hours. But in matters of faith practice? Not so
much.
But
another thing I read catches my attention. “The forty days of Lent
was meant to remind us of the time Jesus spent fasting in the desert
to prepare for his ministry.” That word 'prepare'--it comes again.
But this time, there's a reason. A preparation for something. A
purpose behind the denial. And here it is—
so
Jesus can go out and do what he came to do, with laser-focus on why
he's doing it.
Would
that change the way we do Lent?
I
doubt that leaving chocolate behind is going to prepare me for loving
the world. I don't believe, in my heart of hearts, that giving up
caffeine will give me focus on what matters going forward. What I
need, if I'm going to understand and do this Lent thing, is to know
what will bring me to a place where I'm more prepared to focus on
what God put me here to do and, yes, just do it.
I
need a practice toward something rather than a push away.
So,
as I think about coming to terms with this Lent, I realize there is
something I can do. I can move toward being more like him. I can
practice something that will prepare me to love the world. I can
focus on his humility and make it as much mine for forty days as I
can, hoping it will take hold and last.
That's
the risk I'd ask you to take this Lent. Find your motivation. Be
honest about it. Whether or not you've ever given up so much as a
quarter of a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, figure out why or why not. It
is risky. You may not like the answer. (Im' not sure I like mine. But
i'm going to do it.)
It's always risky to look at Jesus and ask him
if you know him well enough to be walking with him through life. It's
scary because--He'll answer.
What
are you moving toward this Lent? What is He preparing you for? Just
do that.
5 comments:
This is just beautiful!!! Thanks so much for the challenge -- doing deeper.
I just want you to know I read this entire post, and that I didn't even skim (my usual routine for long posts).
Lent. Is this a bad time to talk to you about how I gave up Scooby Doo for Lent in 2nd grade?
So, as a former Catholic, I LOVE Lent. Bring it on.
I am challenged to go deeper (no more sitting in the next room pretending not to hear Scooby Doo). This year I am going to memorize Scripture for Lent, and it's funny you ask what is He preparing me for because that's the exact reason I am doing it…to be prepared for something.
I really appreciate this post because as someone who found it easy to get caught up in the rigors of legalism during my growing up years, I have to be careful about things like this. I can make a list of rules for myself plus one and another and another to the point where I feel like I've sinned for missing the smallest of nonessential, self-imposed restrictions. I have participated in Lent, but often I don't anymore because the focus becomes wrong really fast for me. It's almost an act of sacrifice to not give something up. I give up Lent for Lent, lol - Hope I'm making sense. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks, everyone. I seem to have lost the ability to reply individually with this new blog revamp. Know i appreciate your encouragement. I am so glad to know, Lori, that anything I said made this journey easier for you. It did make complete sense! And I'm also glad, strangely, if anything I said made it harder. In a good way :)
:) These were some good thoughts on Lent. I'm trying hard to give up social media... because it just sucks up my time and causes me to worry and rely on my own strength to do things. Time to look up and trust, right?
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