Monday, November 23, 2015

Leave Room: When the Christmas Calendar Is Too Much

I have a calendar on my phone, a calendar on my computer, a calendar on my website, and a calendar on my wall. You'd think I would never miss an appointment. You'd think I would never double book anything. You'd think I went backpacking on a yak in Siberia. No, you wouldn't, but that last guess would be equally as accurate as the first two.

I still screw up the calendar.

And now it's December. The month when we routinely add 314 things to our calendar that we will feel guilty about never being able to do. Because that's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.

We are calendarically challenged (your new word of the month), and we need to slow it down for the holidays, not ramp it up. That's not to say we turn down social occasions and stay at home all month with our twinkling lights. Socializing is good, even for us flaming introverts. But let's slow it down to the right kind of socializing.


What really “makes” Christmas for your family members? Cutting down the tree? Christmas Eve service? Eating baking cookies? Listen to every person, and then schedule in the things that matter the most to each person. Yes, schedule in baking cookies. Or it will happen at the last minute because you have to squeeze it in and you're frazzled. This is not the time to be adjacent to knives, blenders, and hot ovens.

Everyone feels listened to, and the important things happen.

Add in slowly. 

Start to pick other things you want or have to do. School programs. Worship time. Visits with people from out of town. Look at each time-sucker holiday event and ask your self a couple questions. Is this something I really want to do? Is it something that means a lot to another person? Is it something that shows my gratitude toward God? Is it something I have to do or risk unemployment? If the answer is yes, put it on the calendar. When something new comes up, go through the mental process of asking these questions before you make an automatic yes. (Or no.)

Protect downtime. 

Keep free time free. Resist the urge to fill it in with “just one things more.” Yes, it might fit. Yes, you might enjoy it. But it will also stress you out to look at a full calendar and feel like you cannot escape its selfish demands. Guard those non-colored areas on your calendar as if they are gold. They are. They are your golden time to do nothing, enjoy one another, read together, or go on a drive in your pajamas to see lights. These are important activities. If you decide at the time that you can and want to do that one extra thing? Then do it. But you'll be free to choose. This is the only time I'm going to give you a pass on not committing to an event. Treasure it.

Celebrate weirdly. 

My family usually gets together after Christmas sometime. The crazy is over, the gifts are half price, and everyone is sick of coma inducing amounts of food so there's no need to cook lavishly. Choose a not-normal time for those things you'd like to do but can't fit in. A breakfast party instead of a dinner one. Invite families to volunteer together. Have friends with little ones over for hot chocolate, pj's, and a favorite Christmas story time after dinner and before bed. It's short and sweet and fun. Create an event at a time no one thinks of, and since you created it, you get to make the rules. Rules are, you don't have to set up a photo booth and handmade placecards. Unless you want to.

Leave Room.

Sometimes, interruptions to your calendar are good. The shepherds' willingness to listen to the angels and take off for the stable meant only good things. I'm not sure how the Christmas story would have gone down if they had said to the angelic host, “You know, we're kind of stressed right now. Can we take a pass on the newborn king thing? Maybe next month, when things slow down.” Well, I am sure. God would have found someone else to do their job. And they would have missed out.

But divine interruptions can't happen with a blacked-out calendar. Leave room. Leave room for His presence to surprise you on a starry night. 

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